Patience
by emm5683
Summary: Our families are best friends. They expect us to get married, but he's only my friend. "Bella, I'm going off to war." He said sadly. "What?" I sputtered. "No! You can't!" I realized that I might have real feelings buried deep inside afterall. *civil war*
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: Okay, this idea just came to me out of nowhere, and I really wanted to write it out... Okay this takes place during the civil war. And I was not alive and breathing during this time. The closest i've ever gotten was reading Gone With the Wind. Therefore, I really don't know how they spoke back then, and how the language was.**

**I hope you forgive me :)**

**REVIEW**

"Pardon me?" I asked. My family and I were sitting in the parlor after dinner.

"Isabella learn to start paying attention." My mother Renee commanded. She didn't have a normal name, she wanted to change it but her parents didn't want her to. It's not a proper name.

"We said," My father started. I looked up at him. "We expect you to marry Edward."

My jaw dropped. "Isabella close your mouth, you'll catch flies." She said rudely. I glared at her and stood up. I lifted up my dress so I wouldn't step on it and then ran out of the house.

Everyone out in the town stared at me as I ran. Most likely because it's not everyday you see Isabella Swan running through the streets in her Sunday clothes. I ran over to the lake.

I took my shoes off, and rested them at the roots of a tree, and then climbed over the tree careful not to tear my dress.

When I got to the other side, I sat down on a broken log, and buried my face in my hands.

Right now, I was in my hiding spot. The only other person who knew about it was Edward Cullen. The same one I'm supposed to marry.

I huffed.

I heard someone land on the ground in front of me, and I looked up to see Edward himself.

"I'm guessing your parents told you?" He asked.

I nodded. "How did you know I was here?" I mumbled. I felt him sit beside me. I looked up into his dazzling green eyes.

He chuckled. "I saw your boots." I smiled too.

I've known Edward Cullen since I was in my mother's womb. If that's even possible. Our mother's were best friends growing up, we've been best friends since our first playdate. And when I say best friends. I mean _best _friends. I've always been closer to him than any of my girlfriends. And they were only my friends to get to Edward. But Edward never spoke of them. They were all envious of me.

It's not that I don't like him, I mean I practically love him (as a friend of course). But I don't want to get married to him.

"Bella, I'm sure we're not going to get married if you don't want to." He soothed. He was right. I'm very stubborn, and not to mention an only child. My parents gave me everything I've wanted.

Edward also gave me the nickname Bella. My mother hates it. She prefers my "born name". I love Bella. Only Edward calls me Bella. Isabella makes me sound like an old lady.

"I guess you are right." I admitted.

He smiled his signature crooked smile. "Am I not always?"

"So how is your day?" I asked.

"Well, I have some news to tell you-" I froze. It was going to be that he has found someone.

I stood up. "I must get home. Make sure you tell me another day?" I said quickly. He opened his mouth to speak, but I was already making my way over the tree.

I was slipping my shoes back on when he was climbing over.

"Isabella wait!"

"It is getting to night. My parents must be worried sick." I pleaded with my big chocolate brown eyes. I hurried away.

My house wasn't that far away from the lake, it only took me about fifteen minutes.

The heels on my boots were killing me by the time I stumbled in through the door.

Mammy came down the long way. She was our slave. I thought it was hideous that we kept her as a slave. I tried to do everything by myself, but she was too nice.

Mammy also called me Bella.

"Bella!" She shrieked. "Mr. Charles and Mrs. Renee are pacing in the study." She warned.

"I know!" I trilled as I threw my boots to the floor and hurried to the other side of the house.

I swung the door open to reveal my parents.

My mother didn't try to hide her anger. But my father, let's face it, I'm his little angel.

"Isabella." My mother quietly said. "Why did you do that? You could have been taken away!" She shrieked. "You know we dislike you outside after hours!"

My father was head of forces. There were a lot of people that would like to hurt me to get to him.

"I was with Edward." I answered simply.

Of course all anger was wiped from her face. "Oh, well next time let us go."

I turned away to go out the door. "Does not mean I am going to marry him." I muttered as I went into my room, which was right next to my father's study.

Mammy came in, and helped me get out of my corset. I breathed in relief. I hated those things. She took out the braids that my mahogany colored hair rested in. They escaped into deep waves down my back.

I hugged her goodnight and then climbed into bed.

I prayed that Edward wasn't getting married and then I blew out the candle on my bedside. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

A week has passed and everytime I see Edward, I steer away and hide behind something so I can't face him.

Saturday morning at breakfast I sat there with my food and then my mother came and joined me.

"Good morning Isabella." She greeted.

I smiled. "Good morning."

"Don't forget about the Cullen's barbeque today." She reminded me.

I froze. I completely forgot. Then Mammy took me away to get ready. I ended up wearing my long hair down, and a plain emerald dress. I couldn't help to think it reminded me of Edward's eyes.

_Oh hush, Bella. Stop thinking about Edward._

Goodness.

My parents and I glided into the carriage, and took the short ride to the Cullens huge white house. Carlisle was the town's head doctor.

I was the first person to walk out, and Rosalie, Edward's sister opened the door for us. People came up to me and greeted me.

It was the same thing each person.

Smile. Say hello. Ask about their life. Hug them. Walk away.

Except repeat that about five thousand times.

Eventually Edward spotted me through the crowd. I panicked and then hurried into the kitchen. All the servants looked at me like I was crazy. "You shouldn't be in here!" One of them shrieked. I was just about to go out the back door when I felt someone grab my arm. I turned around swiftly to see Edward.

He towed me out of the kitchen through the door. He sat me down on a swing.

"Bella, there is something I need to speak to you about." I squeezed my eyes shut, before I produced any tears.

"Edward don't-" I started to say.

I opened my eyes and found him leaning in towards me. I closed my eyes, frozen in my place. A few beats later I felt his soft warm lips on mine. A spark ignited. I got a tingly feeling all through my body. All too soon he pulled away, and I kept my eyes closed.

Then I heard his velvet voice whisper, "I'm going off to fight."

I opened my eyes and horror was sketched on my face.

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**a/n: The next chapter will probably be longer, I really wanted to end it here :)**

**REVIEW :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: In case you didn't see the author's note, I was true to my word! I updated! YAY!**

**I absolutely love this chapter!**

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"What?" I sputtered. "No! You can't!" I cried. I put my head in my hands. Too many thoughts were swirling in my head. "What if you die?" I shrieked.

He put his hands on my shoulders. "Bella, I'll be fine." He insisted.

I pushed him away. "You don't know that Edward!" I stared at him as I blinked away my tears. "You're my best friend, Edward." I paused. "You can't leave me alone."

His face saddened. "I know." He murmured.

"Was I the last one to know?" I asked quietly. He nodded. I stared at the dirt as I dug the heel of my boot into it. Then I swung my hand to his cheek, a loud slap filling the air. He stared at me in shock. "How dare you!" I snarled. Then I smiled a little bit, watching him rub the red mark forming on his perfect cheek. I started laughing. "I am sorry." I said shyly. "I've always wanted to try that."

He scared me with a laugh coming from his own mouth. I look at his lips, red from the chilly air. I remembered that he just kissed me, he caught me staring. I blushed. We both stared at each other for a moment, our giggles suddenly gone. "I am sorry." I repeated again. A soft grin replaced his unemotionless lips.

"Why, Bella, it is fine." He whispered. His eyes started moving down to glance at my lips, and he slowly started to move in again.

I felt my heart miss multiple beats. My eyes fluttered closed, I felt our foreheads touch, then our noses, and-

The sound of the porch door swinging open made us jump apart. I heard hurried footsteps run towards where we were on the swing. "Isabella!" Rosalie panted. She appeared before us. I stood up quickly. "The new girl is in!" She breathed.

Our town was fairly small, so when I new family moved in, we all knew.

Rosalie's small hands grasped my elbow. I turned my head towards Edward as she hurried me into the house. I mouthed, 'Sorry'. He smiled slowly.

We ran into the house, and she towed me through the crowd to a pixie looking girl. What stood out to me about her was that her black hair was cut short, sticking out all over the place, and that she wasn't wearing a corset. She will definitely be talked about tomorrow at the service.

She turned as she heard us approach her. "May I help you?" Her voice was very high pitched.

Rosalie reached her hand out. "I'm Rosalie." They shook hands. Then I introduced myself.

"And I'm Isabella. You're new in town aren't you?"

She smiled. "I guess there are no secrets in this town are there?" She laughed. "My name is Alice."

Then I saw Rosalie look the other way. "Royce arrived." She trilled and she skipped away. Alice looked at me questionably.

"Her fiance." I said quietly. Alice nodded. Then I felt two hand on my shoulders, I spun around to see Edward towering over me, with his best friend Jasper by his side.

"Care to introduce me?" He asked with a smile. I nodded.

"Alice this is Edward," I pointed to him, "And Jasper."

She smiled. "Nice to meet you." It seemed like she was only saying it to Jasper though, there was a twinkle in her eyes as he looked at him. I noticed a man who was very strong walk over protectively to Alice. "This is my brother, Emmett." We all greeted him.

We all sat down and talked to each other. We all got along nicely. Rosalie stomped towards us a few hours later, she looked upset.

"What's wrong?" I whispered to her.

"Royce." She simply said. "He doesn't listen to me, he stares at other girls more than at me." She was on the verge of tears. I locked my elbow with hers and took her to where both our parents were conversing.

"Can Rosalie spend the night?" I asked sweetly. They all nodded. Rosalie looked at me, a small smile playing on her red lips. We ran the stairs two at a time, to pack a bag for overnight. By the time we glided down the stairs, most everyone was gone, including Alice and Emmett. I kissed Esme, Carlisle, and Edward goodbye, and we hurried to my parents waiting in the carriage. Once we swaggered out the big doors, Royce ran up the steps to Rosalie.

"May I speak to you?" He asked.

She looked at me. I nodded while handing her her bag. She waved me to go along without her. I climbed into the carriage.

"I thought Rosalie was staying the night?" Mother chirped.

I shook my head. The carriage started to move. I turned and looked at Rosalie and Royce fighting. "Change in plans." I mumbled.

"I do not want you to hang around that young woman Alice." My mother said that night at supper.

I scowled at her. "Oh, so you'd rather I friend Rosalie who constantly puts herself out at men?" I asked. She glared at me. I raised my eyebrows. She knew I was correct.

"Off to bed." She ordered. I stalked off to my room and got ready for bed. By they time I finally started to feel sleepy, I heard hurried, hushed voices in my father's study. I slowly sat up in my bed, running a hand through my hair. I pressed one foot to the hard floor, and quietly walked to the wall separating the two rooms.

"-is Rosalie okay?" My mother asked.

"Esme thinks she's really shaken, she hasn't even spoken since she came home." Daddy explained. I swung my door open, running to the study door.

**a/n: Since Rosalie is one of my favorite characters, I had to fit this little tidbit in about her.**

**REVIEW**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: Special Thanks to stormdog11, runemagic, and Lilosobel for reviewing last chapter! 3**

**Rosalie is probably one of my favorite characters in Twilight, so I always try to fit in her story :)**

**Chapter Playlist:**

Lets Get Lost- Beck & Bat For Lashes **Fix You- Coldplay **Possibility- Lykke Li **Use Somebody- Kings of Leon **Let The Flames Begin- Paramore **Dream On- Chemical Brothers **Animal- Ke$ha** Fences- Paramore **Lovebug- Jonas Brothers **Slow Life- Grizzly Bear with Victoria Legend **Running- No Doubt ** Heavy In Your Arms- Florence + the Machine **You've Got the Love- Florence + the Machine

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"Bella!" Edward exclaimed as he opened the door for my family and I.

I wrapped my arms around him. "Where is she?" I asked. He pointed to the parlor. I hurried. I was still in my night clothes, and I didn't fail to notice Edward's staring. My hair swung side to side as I ran in.

She was all alone, spread out on the sofa. Her face was buried in a crevice of the cushions. I could hear her slight cries. A heavy blanket covered her whole body, yet she was still shaking. I debated on whether I should continue on in.

"Rosalie?" I whispered softly. My feet took me deeper into the room. Soft footsteps and the crackling of the fire filled the air. I spun around, to see Edward walking towards me. "What happened?" I asked him. I still didn't know. Mother and Daddy said Rosalie should tell me.

"Well, Rosalie and Royce were fighting I guess," He ran a hand through his bronze hair, "And then she stumbled into the house, hysterical. We thought she was hallucinating. And then she told us not to touch her-"

He was interrupted by Rosalie's bloodcurdling scream.

She started to shake harder on the sofa. "STOP!" She shrieked. I hurried over to her, and grabbed her wrists when she turned around. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" Her eyes opened quickly, and she bolted upright. She pushed me, and I stumbled to the floor on my bum. She blinked her eyes at me, and then burst into tears.

"Sorry." She murmured. "Nightmare." Sobs caused her body to crumble, and curl into a ball.

Daddy came in.

"Rose, sweetie. I swear to you, that he will be caught." She nodded, as he and Carlisle stepped out of the house. My mother, and Esme walked in, and sat down with their cups of tea, with sad faces etched all over their porcelain features.

I felt my own tears roll down my pink cheeks. I looked at Edward.

"He raped her." He said so softly I could barely make it out.

I shut my eyes, and rested my head against his chest.

I crawled over to Rosalie.

"I told him before, that I wanted to wait." She said blankly staring at fire. "And tonight, we made up." I saw her chin quiver. "And we were kissing, and- and he wanted to go further." She whipped her head towards me. "But I didn't, and he started to hurt me, and then he-" A single tear rolled down her swollen cheeks. "Will I be forgiven?" She asked all of a sudden. "I didn't want it Bella!" She exclaimed, saying my nickname for the first time. I wrapped my arms around her.

"Well I forgive you." I said sternly.

"As I do." Edward said loudly.

Esme and mother exchanged glances and nodded. "Surely we forgive too."

Eventually Rosalie fell asleep again. My family and I stayed the night. I woke up in the middle of night, and slipped off the little sofa. I sank down to the floor.

"Should not you be sleeping?" Edward asked, a slight chuckle in his laugh.

I gasped, and my hand flew to my heart, as blood rushed to my cheeks.

"Goodness, Edward, you frightened me." I giggled softly. I noticed a bag near the chair in which he was sleeping. I cocked my head to the side. "Why the bag?" I asked curiously.

His face saddened, "It's the bag I'm taking to fight tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I asked.

He nodded. I stood up and walked over to the chair where he was sitting. I pressed my nose against his, his cool breath hit my lips. And then static electricity, ran through me as our lips met each other. My legs were straddling his.

I lips pulled away from his so I could speak. "What if I said I would marry you, when you asked?" I asked.

I saw him smile a little bit. But then footsteps came down the grand staircase, and he gently put me back down on the ground. I hurried over to the couch, and pretended to sleep. Our parents would kill us if they found out we've been snogging this much before even being engaged.

Who ever it was went into the kitchen.

Edward and I started giggling. Then the footsteps came back toward the stairs. We quickly quieted and "slept".

"I know you're awake." Rosalie said as she climbed the stairs.

I looked up at Edward to see him smiling with his eyes closed in the moonlight.

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**a/n: I feel like this chapter is extremely short... oh well please review ;0**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: I haven't updated in a really long time. I'll make it up to you though. I hope no one has given up on this story :)**

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Edward and I locked elbows as we walked to service. He was leaving right after. It's both my family's and the Cullen's tradition to walk to church each Sunday, instead of riding in a buggy.

"I can't believe you are parting." I sighed.

He tightened his grip on me. "Neither can I." He was silent for a few seconds and then looks down at me. "Promise to write?" He asked.

My lips spread into a smile. "Of course. But isn't it hard to contact you?" I questioned.

He nodded. "Then I shall contact you first so you know where I am. But you must respond right away. Or else your writing may be lost." He grinned.

"What do you think will happen when we win?" I asked, hopeful. "When we get our independence?"

He shrugs. "Well, we'll be free obviously."

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Esme slid the jacket onto Edward's shoulders as he prepared to go. Everyone kissed him as we stood in the yard. His horse waiting for him. I watched as he climbed onto the straddle.

He galloped into the woods. I sunk onto the dirt as the sound of the horse trotting faded in the distance. Rosalie lifted me up and we danced to the cotton fields around the house. I couldn't ask for a better friend. Well except Edward of course. I slid off my shoes to insure I wouldn't trash another heel. Multiple slaves stared at us as we jumped over bushes and got mud on the trim of our dresses. I bent over my knees to catch my breath when I spotted a water pail on a tree stump. I hid my devious smirk as I sprain towards. My fingers curled around the handle. Rosalie rounded the corner right as I threw it at her.

She closed her eyes as the dirty water seeped through her dress of seven layers and brought out the bun in her hair.

I started to run through the rows of laundry drying on wires. I slammed right into a slave boy playing in the grass. I stumbled onto the hard earth.

He jumped to his feet. "Ma'am I am dearly sorry."

I smiled. "It's fine. It wasn't your fault anyways." I patted his head. I noticed a lone flower mushed into the ground. I picked it up and leaned down to the boy. "Can you do me favor?" I asked. He nodded. "This flower is special. And it looks different than all the other ones. But there's nothing wrong with it. Promise me to keep it forever?" He smiled and took it out of my hand.

"Thank you Ma'am."

"Isabella!" Rosalie yelled as she ran closer. I smiled one last time and ran into the house.

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It's been almost a week since Edward left. And I miss him terribly.

I carried the basket of eggs over my head as Rosalie and I walked down the street. Mother and Esme are trying to make a business out of selling eggs and milk and farm stuff like that. They left Rosalie and I to deliver the supplies to them until they hire workers. Which is why we are hauling food to town everyday after our studies. We finally make it to the store right as I'm about to collapse from exhaustion. It's a Saturday and the small space is swarming with people. We enter through the back because it leads right into storage. I shake out my arms after I deposit the eggs.

"Phew."

"Girls? Is that you?" Someone trilled.

"Yes." We said in unison. We laughed.

Mother came out. "Thank goodness. I thought thieves snuck in. We should really get a lock for that door in case." I sighed not having the patience to listen to her banter to herself. "Oh sweetie can you get the mail?"

I nodded. "Rosalie and I wanted to do some shopping. May I receive some money?" She rolled her eyes and slipped me twenty five dollars total.

Wow.

"Share that between you two." She scolded as she hurried back to the counter.

We walked back onto the dirt road. I walked into my favorite seamstress. "Hello girls." Mrs. Weber greeted us as we stood in front of her. She was in the middle of sewing something.

"Do you happen to have finished my bodice yet?" I asked. I rested my head over my hands on the high desk so I could see her.

She smiled. "Actually." She stuck her tongue out as she got one more stitch in. "I'm done."

Then the dress was sprawled onto the counter top.

It was very long and white. And then the top layer was green with a white floral print. The bust would be showed off and the sleeves were tight and ruffled. I grinned. "Thank you so much."

I pinned it against me and showed it to Rose. "Don't you just love it?"

I saw her lips about to quiver into a frown, but then she bit bottom lip. She turned and sat out on the porch of the shop.

Ever since she was... attacked, she's been wearing dresses that glide along the floor they are so long and they cover her arms and up to her neck. She even wore her bloomers to her ankles.

"Cost?" I asked.

"10." Mrs. Weber said looking away.

"10? That's quite a lot, is it not?"

"Isabella, times are tough. Things are not the same. Everything is changing before our eyes. And we all have to do our part with the war effort. Everything is more costly." I nodded my head and then click clacked out of the store.

We started to head to the post office. There was not a line so I retrieved my mail quickly. As I was going through I spotted one that said

Isabella Swan

My heart skipped a beat. Why would I be getting mail?

Rosalie led me to the harbor where the new girl Alice was sitting on our usual bench.

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**A/N: REVIEW!**

**Pictures of their clothes up on my profile!**


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: I thought I wrote a lot more... I guess I didn't because this chapter is 895 words! I'm ashamed! Hehe. I promise I'll try to make these chapters longer.**

**Special Thanks to Jessi1989 for reviewing last chapter!**

**Chapter Playlist: Daughters- John Mayer Love Story- Taylor Swift No Sound But the Wind- Editors Over the Moon- RENT Drumming Song- Florence + the Machine Tragic Kingdom- No Doubt Walking On Air- Kerli End It On This- No Doubt Crawling- Linkin Park Symphonies- Dan Black crushcrushcrush- Paramore

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_Isabella Swan_

_My heart skipped a beat. Why would I be getting mail?_

_Rosalie led me to the harbor where the new girl Alice was sitting on our usual bench._

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I cocked my head to the side at the sight of her. My feet took me forward. Rosalie's arm shot out and pulled me backward. I was never careful on my feet and I tripped over them. I landed right on my bum.

I sat up, brushing the grass and dirt off of me. "Rosalie!" I exclaimed.

"Do not go over there!" She whispered loudly. Alice turned her head to us.

"Watch me." I smiled as I stood up. I pulled my skirt up and walked over towards Alice.

I sat down and followed her stare at Rosalie who was stomping back into town.

"She doesn't like me?" Alice asked in a quiet voice.

I shook my head. "If it makes you feel better, we didn't really become good friends like this until we found out her brother was entering the war." I looked over at her dress and realized that it was above her ankles. "I like your dress." I admitted.

She looked at me, smiling. Her eyes crinkled on the sides when she smiled. "Thank you." She looked down and examined her own dress. It was black underneath, and an unexplainable shade of green on top. But the dress reminded me what a lady of the night would wear. "Who wrote you?" She asked eyeing the letter still in my hands. I shrugged and glided my fingers across my name. "It's a boy." She smiled. "Yup, it's boy."

I blushed and look down. "I don't know if it's _him_ yet."

She giggled. "Well open it!"

I shook my head. My attention turned to a ship coming into the harbor. "What about you? Is there a boy?" I asked.

She looked at me. "Shhh!" She motioned a quiet sign on her lips. "You shouldn't talk about your romances in public. It is practically taboo." We both laughed. She was slightly right. At least it was how we feel.

I looked around. "Well I don't think anyone is listening."

She sighed. "Well you know that boy Jasper that you introduced me to?" She asked. I nodded. "We have talked almost every time that we have walked into each other." She breathed in a sigh of relief. She crossed her ankles and smoothed out her dress. "He even sat next to me at service. Except I haven't seen him around lately. Do you think I've done something the matter?"

I shrugged. "I have know knowledge of him leaving. Though, if I see him I'll be sure to ask."

"Thank you."

"You are welcome." I smiled. She tugged on her short hair. "Alice, if you don't mind me asking, why are you so different?"

Her eyes crinkled again as she smiled. "Well why should I _have_ to be like everyone else?" She promted. "I should be Alice. Not society. I don't like long hair, so I cut my short, and also I wouldn't have to wear it up like _them_. I don't like how the bottom of my dresses get ruined by the ground, so they hardly ever go below my ankles. I love makeup, even though they all think I'm a prostitute for wearing it." She lifted up her feet. "I wear flat shoes. And I hate how uncomfortable corsets are, therefore I don't wear them.

"I've seen you change too." She puckered her lips. "You don't quite follow the _rules_ either. You wear your hair down. You wear heels, wear they all wear those big clunky footwear. You wear dresses that aren't always seen around here."

I looked down at the beading on the front of my dress.

"So we're both leaders?" I laughed. I stuck my hand out in the air for a shake. She shook it.

"Leaders!"

I noticed the sun was setting slightly. "Oh!" I gasped. "I should go or I'll be late for tea with my father. Meet you here tomorrow?"

She nodded and I hurried away.

It wasn't until later that night that I read my letter at candlelight while I heard my parents talking with hushed voices in their room down the hall.

**Dear Bella,**

** I didn't expect this. Right now we are up north. I didn't realize how much they hated us, but I'm sure they didn't know how much we hated them as well. Today was the third day up here.**

** I miss everybody. I miss you.**

** So how is it down there without me?**

** Love Edward**

I felt my breathing hitch when he put '_Love_ Edward'. I put the letter in the bottom of a drawer in my nightstand. I was sure to respond tomorrow.

I burrowed deeper into my bed as I heard my parent's voices raise louder. I covered my ears as I realized they were fighting. Bad. I laid there for hours blocking them out until finally I heard some clatter in and then hard footsteps. Next thing I know the front door slammed.

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**A/N: A review gets you a sneak peek of the next chapter :) So who do you think left, Renee? Or Charlie? REVIEW**


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: It's been a while. Please stick with me. I've gone through a lot lately and I don't need to be discouraged by readers.**

**Please don't be mad at me for this chapter...**

**Chapter Playlist: Magic's in the Makeup- No Doubt Mama- My Chemical Romance Pain- Jimmy Eat World Whoa- Paramore Populare- Wicked Born For This- Paramore You've Got the Love- Florence + the Machine Spotlight (Twilight Mix)- Mute Math Ending Start- Metric Stadium Love- Metric Collect Call- Metric Work- Jimmy Eat World Build God, Then We'll Talk- Panic! At the Disco Going Under- Evanescence Don't Speak- No Doubt Cosmic Love- Florence + the Machine Hangover- Hey Monday I Love You- Avril Lavigne Teenagers- My Chemical Romance**

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_I felt my breathing hitch when he put 'Love Edward'. I put the letter in the bottom of a drawer in my nightstand. I was sure to respond tomorrow._

_I burrowed deeper into my bed as I heard my parent's voices raise louder. I covered my ears as I realized they were fighting. Bad. I laid there for hours blocking them out until finally I heard some clatter in and then hard footsteps. Next thing I know the front door slammed._

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I woke up with a headache. I rang the bell for Mammy to come.

She brought me some medicine and a wet cloth. She looked at me sullenly when she walked in. I didn't want to know who left last night.

After a while of staring out the window, my headache finally disappeared and I walked around the house. Looking for mother. "Mom?" I shouted as I walked out of my room. I needed her help with picking a dress for today. "Mother?" I bellowed, annoyed. Normally she would let me know before leaving. I felt tears in my eyes. I blinked through them and opened my parent's bedroom door.

I looked through the drawers that are supposed to hold her stuff. They were empty. I gasped.

I crouched down on my knees. "Mammy!" Her heavy footsteps echoed through the house until she stood in front of me. "She left?" I asked breathlessly. Mammy nodded. I burst into tears in a matter of seconds.

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_April 9th, 1865. 4 years later._

"Bella!"

"Yes?" I shouted from inside the wagon. I sat in there fanning myself and rubbing my swollen belly.

"It's over!" Jacob exclaimed. "It's over!" I sat upright, placing my also swollen feet on the unsturdy wagon floor. When we first headed west, there was a hole in the floor, and I always stepped in it. Jacob tries to patch it up, but every few months, you can see through it again.

"What's over? Oh and honey! We need a new wagon! I can't be walking into holes like this," I gestured to my belly when I walked out.

"We can get out of here!" He said throwing his hat in the air.

I stared at him. "What are you talking about?" I asked exasperated.

"I just went into town, and Lee surrendered! The war is over!" He said breathlessly. I screamed and hugged him tightly.

A couple months after my mother left all those years ago, things got bad. I learned that Edward was missing. They never found him and said he was probably dead. I never showed anyone my heart break over that. Not even Rosalie. I watched my world slowly fall apart. Alice and I became great friends, and I then had to leave when the men from the north started coming in and attacking our town. My dad sent me to head west with a man name Jacob. He was supposedly the son of an old family friend. I wasn't very fond of the idea at first. I mean what 17 year old girl would like to go with a poor pioneer out west in a _wagon_. It took us forever to finally reach California. Almost two and a half years. I think I complained the whole time about how if we took a train it would have been faster.

I don't know when it happened exactly (It was so easily to lose track of time out there), but eventually Jacob asked me to marry him. I said yes, because I knew I was falling for him. I grew to love him I guess. Then we decided to slowly head back home. We met up with Sam, Emily, and their kids a long the way. Right now we are in Texas, the Uley family is going to come home with us, to start a new life.

That night at dinner Sam and Jacob talked about how they are going to try to move as fast as they can. That means that Emily and I would have to go into town tomorrow to get enough supplies to last us until we get home.

I nodded.

I continued my conversation with Emily about how she was excited for her fourth child. They have all boys so far. I hope I have a girl after being around all these men. We were both picking out our top baby names while I felt some small pains in my stomach. I clutched it lightly. Jacob noticed I wasn't feeling very good, and grasped my hand. I smiled at him. I felt better after a few minutes, and then we all settled into camp.

I wrapped my arms around Jacob we laid down on the heap of blankets. "I miss home." I murmured.

"Just remember," He said sweetly, "It's not going to be the same." I closed my eyes.

"I know." I said dryly. I nuzzled into him and fell into a peaceful sleep.

The minute we woke up in the morning, Emily and I got ready and brought along her youngest, John, along with us. I held him the most because he was just the sweetest thing. I swear he is the only baby who is quiet all the time.

We walked into an apothecary. I recognized the person behind the counter. Her back was turned toward us, getting something from shelf. I gave Emily back her son and then walked right up to the counter and stared at the blonde wavy hair. I noticed a few gray hairs.

_Turn around_. I prayed.

I even recognized the dress she was wearing. I was with her when she bought it.

Then she turned around slowly.

I stared at her blue eyes and knew immediately that my thoughts were true.

"Mother." I murmured.

"Bella." She replied just as surprised. I smiled on the inside. She's never called me by my "improper" nickname.

I saw tears well up in her blue orbs before she turned and whispered something to someone at the counter. She hurried out and over to me. She stood there taking me in for a second. She pointed to my stomach and smiled.

"You are-"She gasped. I nodded. "I'm going to be-" I nodded again.

Then I felt anger wash over me. "Why did you leave me?" I asked softly. She didn't say anything, instead just stood there still. "I'm your daughter! You are not supposed to leave them alone! To fight for herself! You knew that father would be to busy with helping out, yet you still left! Why couldn't you try for once! Instead of being a stuck up, rich old, woman!" I threw in her face. I saw her face freeze into one of hurt. "I hate you." I sputtered.

I saw Emily stare at me in awe. "Come on lets go." I said as I stomped away from the store.

As we walked back to camp, with all the supplies, I pushed John in his carriage. "Am I going to be a terrible mother like her, Emily?"

She looked at me with her lips in a tight line. "No." She said simply. "You will be wonderful." She hugged me and we continued.

We turned a corner and saw Sam running towards us frantically. I stopped dead in my tracks.

Where's Jacob?

"Bella!" He screamed. I couldn'td utter any words. "There was an accident!" My mouth fell open. "He's dying!" Sam choked out.

My name is Bella Black. I repeated to myself to calm myself down as I ran back. I fell in love with Edward. But it was too late. He was already dead. Then I finally fell in love the right way, and now Jacob is going to be gone too. And I'm pregnant with his child.

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**A/N: I think you guys may be able to figure out where this story is heading... and no Jacob will not be an important character at all.**

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	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated, I've had the general idea of this story in my head for a while now, but it wasn't enough to actually write. And this chapter is really where the story gets into gear, and it has been a chapter in the making for the past two months. It's not even that long of a chapter and I feel so bad, but I think that the ending is well worth the wait.**

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Thank you to **ConcreteAngel14** for reviewing last chapter and a special thanks to _**stormdog11**_ for reviewing and also for being awesome. I swear, she has read like all my stories, which is more than what I could ask for from anyone on this site. I mean seriously, she has me listed as her third favorite fan fiction author on her profile. So many thanks go out to her! I can't even express my gratitude. I'm absolutely speechless.

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**Chapter Playlist: **Out Tonight- RENT** Slow Life- Grizzly Bear with Victoria Legend **Different People- No Doubt** Gimme Sympathy- Metric **Coming Home- Diddy, DirtyMoney and Skylar Grey** Brick By Boring Brick- Paramore **Symphonies- Dan Black** Love The Way You Lie- Eminem **You're Beautiful- James Blunt** Supermassive Black Hole- Muse **Very Loud- Shout Out Louds** Our Song- Taylor Swift **I Write Sins NotTragedies- Panic! At the Disco** The Twist Metric **La Vie Boheme- RENT** Friends- Band of Skulls **Stop Standing There- Avril Lavigne

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Time passes. Hearts break. I break. My mother broke my heart the first time. I had no one to put it back together. So when Edward died, my heart disintegrated into absolutely nothing. I remember I walked around like a ghost. It was then that I realized I loved him. It was when I couldn't handle the screaming in the middle of the night and my mind constantly picturing how he died.

Then Jacob came a long. He built my heart back up again. And now, I'm empty again.

As I'm crouching near Jacob, half his body crushed under a wagon, I'm thinking that life is horrible. I smooth back his jet black, long hair, looking into his eyes. Sam gathered some men to help lift the wagon off Jacob's limp, bloody body. My tears pool over and pour down my face.

"Jacob!" I wailed. "You can't go!" He looked at me distantly.

I looked at the blood crusted around his lips as he spoke. "I know." He grasped my hand.

"Can I feel my son one last time?" I laughed sadly. He thought I was having a boy, whereas I thought I was having a girl. I nodded and moved closer, quickly grabbed his hands and pushed onto my hard stomach, preying it would move.

He smiled slowly before he coughed. I hit my hands against the earth. The men now had it to where only the bottom half of Jacob's legs were still crushed. My stomach lurched at the sight of his bloody legs. With every second or two, a big gush of blood squirted out. I looked away covering my eyes.

"Emily!" I screamed. I sprawled out on the grass. Seconds later she was helping me over to our- my- wagon.

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When I wake up the next morning, one name comes to mind.

Edward.

I don't know why, but it just does. The name should be Jacob or baby.

I looked around and realized they set up camp while I was sleeping. Emily slept next to me. I glanced up at Sam who sat near the fire. I stood up and walked to him.

I didn't want to ask him what was on his mind.

"Can we just go?" I asked with tears in his eyes. He nodded and we woke up Emily and the kids. Since it was only me, and I had no idea how to control a wagon, they left it there and let me come on theirs.

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Months passed eventually. Not a lot but a few. I've gotten a lot bigger. The baby is kicking a lot. To be honest I don't think about Jacob at all anymore. Looking back on when he died, he never told me he loved me. And I didn't tell him I loved him.

Emily and I were talking while Sam was steering the wagon.

"We're almost there!" Sam yells. Emily and I cheer and get the kids to clap.

I hug my stomach. I'm finally ready to start a life with my child.

"I cannot wait to wash my clothes." I exclaimed. Emily laughed. I have even less clothes that I can wear now because I'm in mourning and also this huge, growing belly.

I felt the baby move and I giggled. It's a glorious feeling when you baby moves inside of you. I can't wait to become a mother.

Emily and I chatted away the next half hour about babies and motherhood. We finally pulled into the town I once knew.

I breathed in sharply as I noticed how different it was.

"It's not the same." I whispered sadly.

"Blame it on the war." Emily laughed.

Blacks freely roamed the streets and buildings were all over the place. There were a lot more wagons and carriages.

I glanced forward. The Cullen Plantation could normally be seen from here, except trees and homes blocked my view. I huffed.

"I wonder if they're still here," I whispered to myself.

I didn't recognize most of the people roaming the streets, and it scared me. Would I be all alone in the place I used to call home?

We stopped at the place where Sam and Emily was staying, I hopped out.

"I can walk from here."

Emily placed a hand on my shoulder. "You don't even know if your house is still there, Bella."

I shook my head. "I'll find a place to stay."

She pursed her lips. "I'm going with you."

I rolled my eyes and put my arms protectively around my stomach as we started to find our way back.

"If it's still standing, you guys are welcome to live there until you find a real home." I told Emily.

She smiled, "That's very kind of you. But I think that the hotel will do."

"No it won't, I insist." I said sternly.

"Fine." Emily laughed.

I walked the street that would normally lead to where my house was. "I'm so scared." I murmured quietly.

Emily sighed, "You shouldn't be. Everything is going to be just fine."

I looked down at the dirt moving with my feet. "No it's not- Oh my!" I stumbled back a few feet as I looked at a toddler who ran into me.

"I so sorry." The nearly baby apologized.

She smiled.

I looked around, "Where's your mother?"

She fidgeted and looked around too. "She out of town."

I eyed her and then asked, "Father?"

"Daddy is wiff her."

"We should take her home," Emily whispered worriedly. I nodded.

"Where have you been staying?" I asked the little girl.

She went on in detailed length about how her uncle has been watching her while her parents went to find a friend. I laughed. I would have a child soon like her.

She looked at my belly curiously. "Are you gonna have a baby?" She asked.

I nodded. "Yes, pretty soon actually."

She pouted. "I want a brother and sister, but momma can't. She says I'm her little present." She gloated.

We walked through trees until we met a small little house.

"That's it!" She cheered.

"How did you get out here?" Emily asked her.

She shrugged, sucking on her bottom lip. "I was wiff my grandma, but I lost her."

We approached the front door and I could hear three people yelling at each other.

The girl stood on her tippy toes trying to reach the door handle. I smiled and lifted her up.

"Thank you." She said politely.

"You're welcome."

She darted through the front door. "Uncle Eddie!" She yelled as a distraught woman came into the room.

"Bree!" She screeched. "Why did you walk away from me!"

The little girl, who was apparently named Bree buried her head in her hands in shame. "I so sorry Gwandma-" My eyes zeroed in on the woman.

Memories of my family and the Cullens confirmed what I was thinking.

"Esme." I whispered.

She looked at me as she picked up Bree. "Oh my goodness." She walked closer. "Isabella, is that really you?"

I nodded slowly. "Uh-huh."

Tears welled in her eyes. "I can't believe it, after all this time. You're still alive, sweetie." She hugged me with one arm. "Guys, look who's here!" She squealed. "Rosalie and Emmett went to go see if you're alive. That's why we have their little Bree."

Carlisle came through first. He greeted me with a fierce hug. "It's so great to see you, Isabella, really," He looked down at my little addition, "Congratulations, sweetheart."

They went over to Emily to introduce themselves when the other person walked in.

I clutched my stomach as I realized who was living in the house.

My eyes were frozen on the shocked emerald eyes staring back at me. "Bella," The owner of the emerald eyes whispered with a velvety voice.

And then just like that, it felt like life was cruel.

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**A/N: Please stick with me on this story..**

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